Why giving up is such an appeal right now? Because it is. Because sometimes life gives me shit even when I have tried to hang on with the little sanity that I still have. Even when I'm engulfed by total darkness, the hard part never seem to run out of avenues. Even when my face is buried deep in the hot desert sands I still find myself being run over, again and again, by life's unforgiving burdens. All I want is just a break from all this craziness. Just one moment for me to shine and really receive the greatest beauties life has and can really offer me. But no. Instead of that I keep on getting the ugliness and the sadness as if I'm not getting enough of it. Why Lord, why? Am I really done this time? Have I really made things gone so bad that I'm out of options now? Has my moment been taken away from me?
Right now I feel like an elephant trapped in the tiny body of a butterfly. I feel like my brain is going to burst out of my skull at any moment now. Yes I know that others out there are going through even tougher situations than mine. I know I know and I do not want to be reminded of that! Right now I am talking about my life, my own shoes and my own shits. What others are going through are theirs to handle. I have enough despair in my hands right now and it's more than I could swallow. I just need someone to say to me to not give up, especially now. Not because of the tiny light at the end of the tunnel. And especially not because of whatever kind of rewards that awaits me at the finishing line. I just need someone to tell me, straight in the face, to not give up. Just plain old, 'Melissa, don't give up'.
Right now I feel like an elephant trapped in the tiny body of a butterfly. I feel like my brain is going to burst out of my skull at any moment now. Yes I know that others out there are going through even tougher situations than mine. I know I know and I do not want to be reminded of that! Right now I am talking about my life, my own shoes and my own shits. What others are going through are theirs to handle. I have enough despair in my hands right now and it's more than I could swallow. I just need someone to say to me to not give up, especially now. Not because of the tiny light at the end of the tunnel. And especially not because of whatever kind of rewards that awaits me at the finishing line. I just need someone to tell me, straight in the face, to not give up. Just plain old, 'Melissa, don't give up'.
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