Nov 11, 2012

My lamentation.

How is it possible that I can still smile? That on some days I can still be happy, as if nothing has happened, nothing has changed? As I live my daily routines, I bear my pain alone. I could not burden the others of my past guilt and shame for they have their own burdens to bear. Not once but twice I have taken that awful decision and now my life is shattering and falling, a piece at a time. 

An overwhelming sense of numbness has been a faithful companion of mine. I don't know if this feeling is because of my own choosing or it's part of what has happened not so long ago. I don't know how long I can tolerate with this kind of solitude. I don't know if I have enough strength to go on and be normal like nothing has ever happened or changed.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. There goes the sound of time slipping away from my hands. How much longer do I have to wait before the angel of life come knocking on my door, and finally I can go home and see my little angels on the other side of this world?