When you're out to find God, expect wolves, birds, thunderstorms, beautiful rainbows and a small boat.

Perjalanan saya mencari siapa diri saya yang sebenarnya, tidak pernah kurang daripada sebuah adventure. At first I set out to find & know God. Somewhere along the line I learned that to find God is to find myself, atau is it to find myself is to find God? Anyway, in this long walk, I am supposed and about to find both.

Semua orang ada cerita mereka yang sendiri. Semua orang ada kesusahan dan kesenangan mereka sendiri. My story, tidak pernah kurang air mata, gelak ketawa, kemarahan yang membara, damai yang tidak terungkap. And I know that goes the same with everyone else, and it's just a matter of scale; ada yang lebih, ada yang kurang dan ada juga yang sama tapi tidak serupa.

To my confessors, I am just another weary soul; someone who is constantly struggling to lead a perfect live in the eyes of God, someone who would love to drop everything and move on but at the same time could not, because abandoning the cross is never an option.

So here I am rambling yang inda-inda, but just for the sake of sanity terpaksa talk about something before I lose my mind completely. I understand a lot of stuff, even things which I am not suppose to. I look at things in ways only few can relate to and still be able to smile and accept when people gave me the 'weird' look. And with so much of this going on I am actually fine with it. I don't mind being this way because I know this is just another part of me yang God wants me to find out.

So, before I end this and continue living out my sane insanity, a word of caution to everyone. When you're out to find God (or yourselves as a matter of fact) do expect hungry wolves, cute little birdies, hailstorms, half & full rainbows and a ride of a lifetime crossing the vast ocean in a small wooden boat.