And the question continues to exist, breaking my soul bit by bit.

The question is still here. Who am I? What is it that I want? Why do I still have this emptiness within me?

I thought after all that I’ve been through things will get better. That I’ll see a clearer picture and the light that shows the path will get brighter. But it didn’t! To make things worst I’m starting to mix fiction and reality. I’m starting to have troubles distinguishing what’s real from what’s not.

Why? Why is it so hard for me to just be normal and do what this world has considered as normal? Why do I have to question everything? Why do I have to think about everything? Just what the f*** am I? Who the f*** am I?

Yes I am cursing my brains out because I don’t like THIS thing I am in right now. I am cursing myself because I feel like a loser. I can’t seem to get things done, or to do things right yet I have the nerve to feel like I am born to do something great. This is insane. I am insane and right now I am crying in front of my computer while pouring out my pathetic life.

And this has got nothing to do with anyone else. No one is responsible with this situation I’m in now other than myself. How can the blame be on someone else when I am the one who is feeling something and nothing all at the same freaking time? I feel like I need to do something and yet be somewhere else.

How can this be just another PMS? It doesn’t feel like some dysfunctional hormones attacking my nerves. Something is tying me down. I know it because although my eyes are wide open at the back of my mind I can see the road leading to a dark path. And I need to go through that dark path because, in my heart, I believe that it’ll lead me to the place where I want to be. Is this some sort of imagination that I’ve created during my sleep? Maybe! But it seems real and scary and it’s driving me there.

Right now, I just want to find some answers so that I can sleep. And my question is; who am I? What am I?