You know what's the terrible part of being a writer? It's the moment when you are being bombarded by tonnes of inspirations but the computer is nowhere near you. I tried carrying a notebook. But somehow my writing brain is not functioning like how it did 10 years ago. I tried holding the thought in a supposedly safe space in my head but when I got to my laptop the idea's gone. Now that is totally unfair! And the other pathetic thing, but need to embrace whether one likes it or not, is the writer's block. I'm riding that for almost a year now. It's not just unfair, it is ugly and the feeling of unworthiness just bogs me down. It's depressing, insulting and even ripping me of my own value. Not that I have any to be proud of, but the value of just being human.
How can one say s/he is a writer, if s/he is not writing anything? I am no writer. Blogging about my pathetic writer's life can't be seen as anything near to what a writer should be writing about. This past few weeks has been a torment for me. Yet, somehow, in my deepest soul I am still clinging to the idea that I can be save. Somewhere in this dark passage I am bound to find the light. Somehow this journey has been written for me and that I should stick through it no matter how difficult it seems. Yes the burden is heavy. Yes the journey is long and treacherous. But if my Creator thinks that I should go through this because of His divine plan then I think I should go through it too. I don't think there's any other road for me but the one I am on right now. Because although it's hard and sort of drags me down, so low until I could feel the taste of dirt on my lips, I know He is here with me. Holding my hand and making sure I won't hurt myself. It's a weird revelation but it's the truth.
Lord, let me see you in these darkness. Let me always feel your presence and find comfort only in you. Strengthen me with your spirit for you alone can see me through. You alone are my source of life. In you alone I trust.
How can one say s/he is a writer, if s/he is not writing anything? I am no writer. Blogging about my pathetic writer's life can't be seen as anything near to what a writer should be writing about. This past few weeks has been a torment for me. Yet, somehow, in my deepest soul I am still clinging to the idea that I can be save. Somewhere in this dark passage I am bound to find the light. Somehow this journey has been written for me and that I should stick through it no matter how difficult it seems. Yes the burden is heavy. Yes the journey is long and treacherous. But if my Creator thinks that I should go through this because of His divine plan then I think I should go through it too. I don't think there's any other road for me but the one I am on right now. Because although it's hard and sort of drags me down, so low until I could feel the taste of dirt on my lips, I know He is here with me. Holding my hand and making sure I won't hurt myself. It's a weird revelation but it's the truth.
Lord, let me see you in these darkness. Let me always feel your presence and find comfort only in you. Strengthen me with your spirit for you alone can see me through. You alone are my source of life. In you alone I trust.
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