Happy 50th post - Looking back at the journey.

For a minute there I thought I've run out of ideas on what to blog about. For the past 49 posts, I've bared it all out here. My fears, my simple pleasures, my heart and, with utmost brutality, my mind; the one place no one with a weak heart should ever go.

Now, what else is there to write? What is new with me today, or maybe since the last 24 hours? Owh. There's one. A friend has confided with me her troubled relationship. So, like any good sport and being such creative innovator, I lend some advises, which I never thought I've got it in me. And you know what, it worked out. Not entirely settled but they had a good start and there's progress. Now, whadaya know? I can actually be a pretty good counselor, with a pinch of nutcrack of course. Hahaha. That's definitely another reason for me to be proud of myself.

Then there's this chat that I had with a friend of mine, who's actually studying right now in Aussie. I hope she reads this. *winking mercilessly*. We're talking about my plan to do solo travel, something about searching another part of myself on the road. Well, I didn't really thought about it that way before but as we talked, yeah, I kinda get the feeling and saw the fuller version of my reason to do it. It's all about spirituality. Like I said in my few previous blog I'm not running away from anything and this is not about being immature.

There are many female solo travellers out there, around the globe, and there are tons of reasons alright. So for me, this is just another journey I need to do for myself, to feed my thirsty soul. The soul that wants to be one with her Creator while seeing the other faces of the world. That's my reason to travel the world on my own. I know God will protect me from harm, like He always does.

Then, there's my crazy addiction with Scotty Mccreery's rendition of The River, originally done by the legendary Mr Garth Brooks. Is it the song, the lyrics or just his calm and deep mesmerizing voice that caught my soul? It's everything about his voice and the song and the words. I don't just relate to it all I'm actually living the whole thing out. It taught me to choose to chance the rapids and dance the tide. And today I'm doing exactly that. Doing what my heart wants to do and just face my fears head on. Never before had a song left me with such an impact. Never. Nada. Mei-you. Aiso. Tiada. Only this. And I'm glad that 'this' finally happens.

So, that's pretty much everything since the last 24 hours for me. I hope your 24 hours has made you appreciate life more, too.    

Just raise your sail and ride with the wind of change.

There's bound to be rough waters. Any kind of seas, nothing calm can last that long. But with God as the captain, you know by faith there's nothing you can't go through.

I don't know how long my positive episode will last. Before, I used to pray and hope that it will last through the night, through the week and even for a few months. But now, with every positive energy that I receive from the good Lord, I will make the best out of it to help myself and others to be a day happier. Being Melissa El, you don’t know when you’re gonna slump to the dumpters and when you’ll rocket sky high. By now, I guess you’ve pretty much figured out that my mind is no kids’ playground. That’s why I am thankful that today, this very second, I am smiling and feeling so blessed with how I have turned out to be.

I’ve learned a very valuable lesson and from now on I will not torture myself with worrying how to keep this good vibe moving in me. Whenever I have the chance to be joyful I will do whatever it takes to create something wonderful so that you and me will have another beautiful reason to celebrate life.

So let me repeat myself again;

There’s bound to be rough waters and I know that I’ll take some falls.

But with the good Lord as my captain, I can make it through them all.

Yes I will sail my vessel till the river runs dry.

Like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my skies.

I’ll never reach my destination if I never try.

So I will sail my vessel till the river runs dry.

Follow your heart. Follow your happiness.

I've done complaining. I've done crying. I've done my share of wailing and whining. Today I've found my heart and the road that leads to my happiness. It's time for me to thread on that road and thou life still has its own twists and turns I've seen the end with my faith and I'm not looking away anymore. 

So, if today you still found yourself unhappy, after trying very hard to be happy, you know it's time to go with your heart, turn to the road that leads to your happiness and don't lose sight of it. May we all find strength with this song, The River, a sweet rendition by Scotty Mccreery the boy who's out and chasing his happiness. 

No more.

Dear Lord, 

No matter where I am, what I do and who I'll be, don't let me go through it all alone. 

Remind me always of your love, even when no one else is standing by my side. 

Whisper in the wind if you have to. Just let me know that you're always with me. That's all I ask of you today. 

Yours forever true.

The heart that hopes

 

When leaves started to fall,

I know that autumn is here.

But, when I find your eyes

looking beyond the horizon,

no season can prepare me 

for the pain that is to come.

Life,

too precious to be lived alone.

I hope you see,

the yearning in my eyes.

How I long to find you smile, again.

Please say that you will stay,

for another hour, 

for another season.

Let reasons run free

for who can reign what is wild.

Let the owls hum the darkness away

for who can escape what is pain.

So, let your love stay with me, tonight,

and let it burn my being 

to ashes and to dust,

for who can surrender what is timeless,

what is eternity.

S.O.S - need an Excitement transplant!

The paper work is getting too much for me to handle. My romance is becoming staler by the minute. Family problems are getting out of and beyond my control. The mission remains undisturbed. All of these are screaming for one thing only: I NEED SOME EXCITEMENT!!!

Of course I feel blessed because of all that I have right now. And yes I am luckier than some people and I know that very well. I just want to take a break from all of it. That’s all. And no I am not running away or avoiding responsibility.

You might be wondering, what the hell prompt me into writing this enigma today? And yes, you are absolutely right. The leaves in the tree won’t sway if they’re not disturbed. This morning I bumped into an old flame. I don’t know if he saw me but I know what I saw, and there’s no mistaking an old flame with someone else.

And that brought me back to the days when I was still a careless budding flower. I miss the old days and my-carefree-self. Back then I was a ruthless tigress. I rammed and cleared almost everything that stood in my way. I did what I had to do and, somewhere along the line, added a little pinch of sugar and spice to make everything nice.

So, coming back to my current situation, I just need some excitement and that’s just about it. I’m not seeking for anything illegal. Just something that can satisfy my thirst for adventure and has the labels 'ONLY FOR ADRENALINE JUNKIES' and 'NOT RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE WITH HEART PRONE DISEASES'.

Next stop, .... Paradise??

I have never gone out of my country yet. Well I hope one day, before I am too old or too sick to do any flying, I will get to do just that - travelling and see new things. As I watched and read the experience of other people who had done it I can't help but feel a little green. And often wonder to myself when it will be my turn.

No matter how human we all are, culture is the epitome that signifies one neighbour from the other. And what better way to know a culture but travel. No matter where we are in this world civilization has its own distinct roots. Thou a system may seem strange from what we are used to it’s a perplex phenomenon that we just have to learn to accept and enjoy while travelling.

My question, again: When will I get to travel and see new things?

The sleepless night activity

Basically, it's ten minutes to 11pm, where I'm at. My blues has definitely gone down to normal right now. Thank you Jesus for that. Sleep is avoiding me but I don't blame it since I took some some coffee earlier on to ease the jitters. So, here I am, posting, once again, and now I'm thinking of making another change for this blog. I'm browsing for catchy templates, reader-friendly widgets. I just hope I do it right this time. I may revamp the title again, and maybe even the link. Like what I once said, change is inevitable and its a risk. No one can be sure whether its right or wrong. Only time can be the judge of that.
....
Unsuccessful attempt. Bummer!

Cut myself some slack.

Gosh. I can be such an pain in the ass, don't I? Everybody has a bad day. Everybody went through it within their own means. Some handled it well while others may need some help. Nevertheless, everybody has had a bad day. I know I'm not the only one who has to deal with bad days every 2-10 seconds a minute. I know that when I say it's tiring, there are people out there who knows that its worse for them. So... I can still count my blessings and try not to be a sore whiner because I know there are people out there who are going through tougher ordeals, but can still keep up with a smile.