The never ending story of self hate.

The sad part of having a mind like mine is that you will probably spend most of your adult life trying to remember who you are, back when there is only you and God alone in this world. It's a battle field my mind. 95% of the time my mind is always at war and it is such an ugly sight. How could anyone stand it with me? Even I will abandon myself when the fight begins. I hate to keep on asking myself who am I over and over again. I hate to keep on thinking my past over and over again. At this moment I just hate having this kind of mind. I hate myself for making me so miserable. I hate this so much. I really really hate this.