The essence of me blogging

I haven't quite started my work yet, because we just had our electricity back. I know! *eyes rolling* It's a bad excuse. I can't help it because I'm so addicted to this blog. I don't really know who's reading 'me' but the thought that there are curious eyes prying my deepest thoughts is just so captivating. It’s like meeting Peter Pan and the lost boys and getting to know that I can fly. Oh, don’t we all just love magic and fairy tales and how they make us feel. *smiling*


Writing this blog, to me, is like creating magic. You know. Like the ones we see on tv; from a colorful hanky to a beautiful white dove. Life is full of magic. I know! Try telling me this when I'm in one of those deep-rooted depressed feeling. Still it is magic, with all its ordinaries, day in-day out regimes, chartered course...if only one can see it from a different pesona, even for a second. I am still thinking about my project thou. I'm onto something, you can be sure of that. Very soon the baby will be born. And when it comes life, my life perhaps, will not be the same. 

Help me picture my new baby.

OK. So it's 3:30pm right now in KK, Sabah, Malaysia, and I still haven't touch my work! Great, isn't it! Bad? Of course it's bad because I feel bad for not feeling that bad about not doing a single work today. So what exactly am I doing right now? Well, at least I should have something on my sleeve to compensate the time I've been wasting today. Alright-ey then. I'll spill.. I'm thinking of creating another blog. Something that looks more professional, more informative and more about what I love to do and be doing. So I browse mercilessly from one blog after the other. My fingers are moving and clicking the mouse like no one's business. I need to find an idea somewhere, somehow and fast. So I found out this website which gives a 100 ideas on blogs that he thinks 'I' should do. This is something, I thought. So I run through the list and... jeng jeng jeng.. I found it. Well I actually found a few that seem to ring the same level of connection with my brain waves and soul. I'm gonna list it here and hopefully, if there is someone who is actually reading this right now, you could help me decide which topic suits me better. And should there be no responds from the 100 gazillion possible people out there I will still take me time out and work on this new project of mine. This should be fun, I think??!!

1) On no. 91 - Interview with a veteran. I love talking with people, whether their young, old, religious or carefree, famous or living on the low key, whoever and whatever. There is so much I can learn from someone, the do's and the don'ts of life and perceptions. If I do this it needs more than just hard works. I need to be disciplined and I need to actually call, make an appointment, come up with good questions, do a write up, get the approval and then post it on the blog. I need to take pictures, do a follow up if it's necessary and keep on finding fresh ideas on subjects and who to talk to. Oh the my goodness...

2) On no. 83 - Letting go. I could talk about the things, in my daily life, that I have learned to let go or in the process of letting go. I could put in my struggle and the victories. It can be anything. From habits to cravings. From anything that is solid to pure conceptions.

3) ...

Damn! I only found 2 ideas that suits me. Hey. I think I can actually pull this together. Well, I guess it is never too late to redesign a passion. I will still keep this one as my personal journal. I have great memories here. Didn't I just discover my new baby here?

Happy 24th posting to ME!!

This is my 24th post and it's official: I am a narcissist blogger. That's a strong word indeed but I think I do make the cut on some of the traits. I talk about myself, my life, my expectations, my point of views.. all the my's, me's and I's. Once in awhile I do talk about others, describing how their existence impacted my life on that particular day. But then after a few seconds the story will still come back to me, how and what I'm doing, I've done and will do.

Today I saw a 'Sally' dropped me a message on my cbox. Oh my, I was extremely excited. Thank you 'Sally'. Keep on dropping me messages yes. Love it dude! To think just a few months back, or was it weeks ago, when I thought that this blog will only be seen by the light of my eyes... Wow! And now there's a 'Sally'. How cool is that? For me, a self-proclaimed but underachieved writer, to get that one anonymous message is beyond my imagination. Can't wait where this part of the road will lead me to. So stay tune folks, because this ride is going to get wilder. Yee-haw!

Look to the Lord. Don't just look at the dead body.

Our journey in life is to be with God, someday soon. Yes indeed death is a dreadful occasion. But as a Christian who is a Catholic I need to embrace death as much as I embrace life. Why? Because that is what God wants me to do.

Biasalah – dimana ada kematian disitu ada kesedihan. But do not dwell in sorrow for too long. Macam dalam homily Archbishop John Lee today at the requiem mass of the late Fr. Dapoz. When Jesus saw how Mary cried for her brother, Jesus felt a deep sorrow in his heart and he wept too. But, not because of sadness he wept. His tears were of disappointment because Mary, one of the Bethany Sisters, still look to the lifeless body instead of to the One who gives life and the Resurrection.

Fr. Dapoz is now in heaven, rejoicing with Mary, the saints, angels and all the holy people who have made it there. That is my faith and saya percaya itu 100 percent. So what now, after the burial and everything? My life will continue its journey and, just like all my loved ones who had gone before me, the memories that we shared will always be in my heart.

I will keep Fr. Dapoz’s legacy alive: to love and serve the Lord and His people, in my calling. From now I will have the more reason to keep my eyes fix to the Lord. From now I will be in a more and better communion with the saints in heaven. From now I will be what God wants me to become. And since the journey will definitely have its own twists and turns, then Fr. Dapoz, please pray for me to Jesus. Watch over me and guide me so that I can be the person that Jesus wants me to be.

I miss you too..

I purposely tidak kasi taruh title in the beginning of my blog. I want to see where all this will lead me to.

1st of all, I thought I had lost this blog. When my soon-to-be niece asked me the title of this blog, then only I realized that I have not 'visited' my online diary for such a long long time. (Technically, when we don't post anything online for the past 1 month it is consider as 'long long time'). So what happen to me?

Work happen. Hotel happen. Events & Sales happen. And come to think of it, I was sort of running from something a few months back. From what - that I could not put my finger on. Life can be so unexpected sometimes. One moment I remembered and the next it got lost somewhere in my crowded mind.

By the way, my parent's already gave their consent and I'm proud to announce here that I will be engaged on June 11, 2011. Finally and with a very deep breath.

Since this is just a page of me saying that I have returned to the cyber world, so I won't drag it. Pandai boring juga tu kan. So... I see you around?

What it's like to be a story teller?

Fulfilling!

I'm a regular contributor for Catholic Sabah and I love telling stories. Tapi ada masa-masa sedih when I know that I'm being judged because of my stories. Still that is the fact that I need to come to terms with. Begitulah bah hidup ni. We cannot control what other people wants to think. We don't really have a say when we are being judged. Of course we can respond because sebagai manusia that is our nature. For me, being a writer, being judged, being honored, being ridiculed, it's all part of my journey. There will be good days as well as bad days and so far there has even been both in a single day. I've been depress as well as walking on cloud-9. It's all part of the parcel. But when I stop writing,.... nothing. Simply nothing. No pain, no joy, no rage, no hope. All the normality that I used to experience, every single thing, was no where to be found in my 'world'. And that is scary. Because, saya percaya that when we don't feel anything, it's the same as being dead. To be dead while I'm still alive is meaningless.

And being meaningless is suicidal. So, I continue writing and continue being in a writer's mind because if I cease in being both I start to contemplate death more often than I should.

Jadi, what was the question again? What it's like being a story-teller? It's an out-of-this-world kind of living.