They said writing is a form of therapy. Well, at times such as these, anything that can lessen the deep pain in my heart I am more than willing to take it up. Will drinking my nights away help me forget the pain even for just a little while? Why not? Now I understand why some people would do anything just to taste the sweetness of escape. The pain does not just hurts. It does not just dampen the spirit. It's a bloody, damn, God-forsaken, stab felt pain kind of a burden that, not only wears the heart out, it tears the heart into every possible direction imaginable. And how could one stand straight with such mess and blood? How could one even lives for another day? And to top it all, it's the season of Lent; the holy and one of a kind season where one should be praying to be directed and led to the Cross. Coincidence?
God what are you thinking? What in heaven's name do you want me to do, let alone achieve? There is so much a spirit can achieve. Sometimes you are just so unfair. Maybe it is my mistake. OK, it's my mistake. I was scared and I made the wrong decision. But please, I beg you Lord, please. Please lift this dark cloud of my shoulder. Please let me see the road and give me directions. Please, I beg don't leave me here alone. I know you're here. But it sure feels like I am all alone with this heavy cloud blinding my very sight. I can't even see my hands. It is just so dark. Let me see your light, Lord. Please let me see your light. Even if it's just a flicker. Please Lord, please.
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